“New Hire at GameStop (a.k.a. My Descent Into Retail Absurdity)”
Welcome back to another post by yours truly, AliasRZ.
As mentioned in my last post, I hadn’t written in a while—mainly because of school, work, and general “life being life” energy. So let’s talk about the thing currently eating my free time and my kneecaps: my first job.
After a year of applying, being ghosted, rejected, and ignored by every company under the sun, I finally got hired.
At a GameStop.
Minimum wage.
Retail starter pack unlocked.
I was hyped. Retail experience? Finally earning some money on the side? Sounds like a win.
…Or so I thought.
🧠 Day 1: “Training”
Training in quotes because really, it was me standing behind the counter, glued to a computer, reading corporate modules that ranged from “how to use a ladder” to “how to spot fake game accessories.” Some of it was useful. Most of it? ✨Debatable.✨
Customers walked in. I awkwardly told them,
“Sorry, I’m new. I can’t help yet.”
And just stood there like a decorative plant with a name tag.
At least I got a 30-minute break to hit the food court with my employee discount, so that was the highlight.
📦 Day 2: The Funko Pop War
Longer shift. More modules. I was told to re-do quizzes I already passed because I didn’t get 100%.
Then came my first “real” task: organizing Funko Pops.
Let me say it—those big-headed, soulless figurines are terrifying. Why people collect them like Pokémon cards, I’ll never understand.
Anyway, I had to:
- Sit on the floor (no table, no cart, just knees)
- Sort them by genre/franchise/series
- Pull any duplicates and put them in the back
I was almost done with the bottom shelf when I was told the rule about duplicates.
Now you tell me? My knees already paid the price!
After that, it was back to—guess what—more modules. This time, about upcoming games and consoles. Because clearly, we haven’t learned enough through the art of sitting and suffering.
Meanwhile, it’s the weekend. The store is busy.
And we’ve got one—one coworker working the register.
There are three of us in training. None of us are allowed to touch the register. So what do we do?
Redirect customers.
Apologize profusely.
Get side-eyed by people just trying to buy Elden Ring.
🕵️♀️ Day 3: Clearance Aisle Scavenger Hunt
Short shift due to classes, but still just as mind-numbing.
My task?
“Find these specific items in the store and mark them for clearance.”
Sounds easy. It’s not.
The process goes:
- Scan the item
- Open a company link to view its image
- Hope the link doesn’t give you a 404 error
- Guess where it might be in the store (no exact location given)
- If that fails, search it on your phone (sometimes it works)
You know what doesn’t help?
The computer says an item is “in stock,” but after crawling through Narnia and back, it’s not anywhere. You start questioning reality at that point.
🎮 So Here’s the Thing:
Everyone in retail has stories like this.
GameStop is infamous for rushed training.
And despite all this?
I don’t hate the job.
I wish it made sense.
- 💸 The pay? $8/hour.
- 🎉 The expected energy? Like I’m launching a PS5 on Black Friday.
- 👤 The manager? Cool, but constantly busy.
- 😮💨 My coworkers? Tired and stressed.
- 🧾 The register? Still off-limits.
And yet… I’m here. I’m trying.
I show up. I learn. I work.
Even when my knees are shot.
Even when I’m told “wait ‘til you’re trained”… without actually being trained.
Which, honestly?
Is pathetic if you ask me.